Is Vancouver a toxic city? August 8, 2007
Posted by Raul in Vancouver, personal life, random thoughts.trackback
I know all too well the perils of posting a half-baked idea on the web for everyone to see. However, this is a question I have had in my mind for quite a while. Recently some people I care for (and some people I am starting to care about) have indicated that this city (beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia) is poison for them. The context being, that we are able to find wonderful friends but that finding steady, true, meaningful love in this city is not easy and that they’d be better off in other cities.
I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I am lucky enough that I have built a strong network of close friends and a large enough network of buddies/acquaintances in the city. My close friends always have my back and are always there when I need them. I am very fortunate in this regard. I have also fallen in love while living here (however ephemeral that relationship might have been). On the other hand, this is the city where I had my heart broken for the first (and so far only) time. I don’t really know if I will be able to find a mate here. Vancouver seems sometimes so… clique-ish.
So, having posed the context, my larger question is – is this phenomenon occurring to more people? Do you feel that Vancouver is not giving you what you need? Is it the city? Is it the folks living in the city? Or what is it? I am very curious to know, particularly because it’s not the first time someone has told me that they don’t feel at home here (and I am talking, some people who are born and raised in Vancouver!)
That’s a totally great question, Raul. I’m sure that you’d get a hundred different answers if you asked a hundred different people. Whether it’s toxic or not depends on the mindset of who you ask. Sadly, there are some people who thrive on their trust funds, designer threads and being the best looking. For them, this city is just fuel. To others, like myself and seemingly yourself, Vancouver has the potential to destruct. I’m not sure if it’s just this city or if every major metropolis has its own share of poison. I suppose one can only hope that they have a network of grounded, level-headed people to hold them where they should be. I am fortunate to have such a group – it’s what keeps me sustained.
Yes, Keira-Anne, we do share a very similar view on this particular issue, and it seems as though we are both very lucky in having a network of people who keeps us sustained. The question that often eats my guts is – what can I do about those who don’t have such a network, and how can I help them? That’s one of the many reasons why I accepted to Bowl for Big Brothers and why I Blogathon.
[...] have had very little fanfare. That’s too bad, since numerous people I have talked to think of Vancouver as a non-caring city. It would seem to me as though this campaign could (and should) be taken up by [...]
This is a subject close to my heart…because I have had just awful experiences in Vancouver.
Vancouver is a cold city – my only good friend here is Matt, and he’s not even from here. I lived here since elementary school and, when I moved back to Canada after about five years away, my old friends turned out to be pricks. One good friend, when I called her two weeks after my first phone call, said, “Why are you calling me twice in a month.” Other friends had impossibly booked schedules and could see me never. Two friends just up and dumped me once because some guy on the street handed me a rose once (they were used to getting all the attention). Another friend who habitually broke off dates with me to go to Okanagan wine country with her boyfriend freaked out when I had to decline an invitation because my mother came to visit me from out of the country. Grr.
I’ve lived in other places and had literally hundreds of friends. I’ve also visited other places and people were extremely kind. In New York, strangers were constantly making conversation with me; also, a blogger rode the train for two hours to NYC to come and meet me.
No one in Vancouver can even drive 30 minutes to meet me. I was stood up by all my friends except one for my stupid bridal shower which I didn’t even want until one of the friends who stood me up insisted. Yeah, it was pretty lonely. Anyhow, I have too many stories about how mean and nasty people are here.
I hate Vancouver and I hope one day Matt will come around and see it and then we can move somewhere with nice people. (That said, there are a few nice people like you, who amaze me.)
Thanks for the comment, Maktaaq. Personally, I think you and math both are awesome
and look forward to hanging out again!
I meant Matt from Onomatopoeia! But math is also awesome.
[...] The stage design was phenomenal, as the stage manager recreated a full floor with different apartments (although we could very easily see through). I was deeply moved and strongly connected with the themes of the play. As you may remember, if you’ve been reading my blog for a while now, I’ve previously written about the sense of aloofness in Vancouverites and asked the question whether Vancouver is a toxic city. [...]