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I am back !!! November 26, 2007

Posted by Raul in personal life, random thoughts.
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For a few weeks now (maybe even months), I noticed that I had lost (to a certain degree) some confidence in myself. I was mentally tired, exhausted, even sometimes grumpy. I did keep a very busy social life but I started to think that I was depressed and spent a substantial amount of time re-examining what was going on in my life.

However, this week (and particularly the past couple of days), I have been feeling very much like myself again. I have listened to “Bye Bye Brasil” by Bossacucanova on my iPod non-stop, and I have had a chance to socialize a lot with my close friends like old times (e.g. not worried sick that I wouldn’t have enough time to finish my projects). I did American Thanksgiving with a group of friends, did dinner with another group of friends and have scheduled dinners with K and M (independently, as M’s birthday was last week and I owe her a celebration; and K really wants to try Ethiopian food). Furthermore, HZ and CS had me, BS and JH for dinner the other night (chicken fajitas), and we had an amazing time. Clearly, this couple (HZ and CS) are made for each other. They complement each other so well it’s amazing. My friends BS and JH also hit it off, and I am really very lucky that they may hang out too. I am very lucky, really, because I have the group of friends that I do.

I spent some quality time with J as well, and we had great conversations (as we usually do). But one thing I noticed when I was talking to him and it really stuck with me was that, even though my knee hurts, my serve is totally nowhere to be found, and I didn’t hit as hard as I usually do, I feel very happy with my volleyball. I feel happy with my work and at peace with myself. More than that, I feel myself again.

I know I can do things, I know I am talented and I know I am very gifted, not only in terms of my capabilities and my own work, but also in the social and family realms. I have friends who care for me and love me very much. I have a family, I have a great life and I am successful. I feel like I am myself again. I feel like I am the Raul I used to know.

It did take me a while to realize this to its full extent, and to feel like a star again. So, to my loved ones (friends and family), my loyal blog readers, my former students, everyone who has a place in my heart and in my life, I can summarize how I feel in just one sentence:

I AM BACK!!!!!!!!

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