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Incidentally, it’s April’s Fools … April 1, 2008

Posted by Raul in Uncategorized.

While for many this is the day where pranks are played upon people, April 1st is a reminder of the birthday of someone who I used to call my best male friend while I lived in Mexico. We have known each other for probably 20 years. I sacrificed countless hours of my time to help him finish his undergraduate degree.

He continuously insisted to be brought into my intimate circle of friends (who absolutely hated him for being such a user). He also managed to gain the animosity of all my family (with the exception of my Aunt, who was unbelievably generous and forgiving). While I understood that he was not really well-off (money-wise), he would *never* make an attempt at paying when we went out. So, thousands of dollars went on dining out, going to bars, and Raul would always pay. I invested countless hours of work, thousands of dollars, etc. And still, he would always rant, whine and complain about how I was so lucky because I had all the blessings and that destiny had handed him a raw deal.

This guy also insulted me when I told him that I had refused a full scholarship to do a Masters degree right out of undergraduate because I feared he would not be able to finish his undergraduate degree (I had already finished mine, as I skipped semesters). His exact words were (and I remember them because he hurt me so much when he said it: “I don’t really believe that you sacrificed that scholarship for me. Nobody on this planet is that noble“). Wow. Thank you, friend!

Why on Earth, you might ask, would I be friends with someone like this? I am ashamed to say that I don’t have a good answer. Maybe it was the fact that I felt I was helping him achieve a goal. Maybe it was the fact that I felt sorry for him and so blessed about having so many capabilities, so much love in my family, so many great friends that I thought I would share my blessings with him. There is no really good answer (because I know anyone can come back to me with an equally valid counter-point). So the answer is… I don’t know, I just did.

Years went by, he got married, I moved to Canada, England, went to Mexico and then Canada again. I saw him again a few times before I moved back to Canada, and you know how he said “good bye”? He sent me a text message. I replied back saying “I think I deserve better than a simple text message. You should come by or at least call me“. He sent a reply (by text):”you have been privileged in ways I haven’t, you are such a gifted person while I am not, destiny has smiled at you and it has been nasty to me, blah blah blah“. I was shocked.

I thought “wow… I’m moving 6,000 miles away and you are ranting about how you didn’t have the life I have had and how bad destiny and fate treated you because it didn’t give you everything I have“. I didn’t reply back. I erased his phone number and all his text messages right there and then, and never looked back. In 2.5 years, I have never received an email from him, nor sent him an email. I’ve been to Mexico twice already and did not even bother to look him up. Neither did he.

You might ask why am I writing about him, if he’s been out of my life for so long. Well, the thing is — I should have dumped him from my life decades ago, and I didn’t. But once I did, I have never looked back. And even though he may (eventually) come across this blog and this particular post, I don’t care. I have never in my life been happy about having someone drop from my life until he came along. So, on his birthday, I say to him “THANK YOU FOR LEAVING MY LIFE… GOOD RIDDANCE!“.


1. Barbara Doduk - April 1, 2008

Great post Raul. It’s it spiritually cleansing to post these types of things. 🙂


2. Duane Storey - April 3, 2008

Great post. There are some people who go through life, always playing the “victim” card to get things they want. Good thing that you noticed it when you did.

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