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When all my abilities fail May 4, 2008

Posted by Raul in personal life.

I am an avid follower of Kyle XY, a Vancouver-shot TV show starring Matt Dallas, and as many of my friends know, a super-hero addict and a comic geek. I’ve always believed my “hummingbird-like” abilities were given to me to help the world in some way. I’m intuitive, perceptive, sensitive, emotionally-aware, am a fast thinker and tend to be fast at pretty much everything I do. You would think all those abilities (like those that have been bestowed on Kyle, the main character of the show I’ve mentioned) would be awesome. The truth is, the vast majority of the time, they are, but sometimes, they aren’t.

I have a number of friends and family members who have been in pain, recently – from having recently had surgery, to dealing on a day-to-day basis with cancer, to having to deal with emotional rollercoasters associated with personal issues, to having to go through the grieving of a recent death of a loved one. It frustrates me to no end that I can’t help them. NONE of them. Not a single one of them.

I’m just frustrated, and emotionally and physically exhausted. This situation is really unusual for me, and I just need to find a way to deal with everything that is happening around me, particularly because I don’t really know exactly where to go from here. I’m grateful for being able to live to the fullest and be reach supreme heights in my happiness levels. Unfortunately, this also translates in feeling incredible amounts of pain and frustration for not being able to help the numerous people I care about.

For those of you who may be worried about me, I am not depressed, I should say that clearly, but I am just feeling exhaustion, both emotional and physical. Maybe the best thing for me to do for a little while is just disconnect from the world, have a tea and just go for a walk along the seawall. I just needed to get it out.



1. isabella mori - May 4, 2008

that walk sounds like a great idea …

one of the things that i learned early on as a counsellor is that if i feel people’s emotions for them, i don’t do them any favour. my emotions are my emotions, their emotions are their emotions. the best thing i can do for someone who is suffering is to listen, and to be as much myself as possible. i also find that most people who are in a difficult situation don’t necessarily want anyone to “do” anything for them, partly because it can quickly turn into something about the person who wants to help. “tell me, tell me, how can i help?” is often perceived as yet one more demand on the person who is not feeling well. just spending time with them when our own “cup runneth over” and we have lots to give, and to give freely, is a great gift.

hence: that walk sounds like a great idea …

take care!

(hope i didn’t sound too preachy!)

2. Air - May 4, 2008

It never hurts to slow-down a little. Even hummingbirds need to rest. 😉

3. Jon - May 5, 2008


Saw this this morning and thought of you. I’m a lit geek, but you’ll enjoy the hummingbird metaphors regardless…

4. Barbara Doduk - May 5, 2008

The greatest thing I have ever learned in life… and it applies to everything, despite not belonging to any religion these words are true “Grant me the serenity, To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.”

As much as a good lot of us wish we were superheros able to fix all woes (and look hot in tights), we are not, and we must learn how we can merely help those we love through the tough times. Give them a light in the darkness.

Raul, I have a light for you. See yourself shine in its reflection.

Then have a beer. 😉

5. Raul - May 6, 2008

Thanks, everyone, for the kind words. And @ Barbara – Ok, we’ll have to do beers 🙂

6. Sarah - May 6, 2008

I think your last paragraph shows that you know exactly what you need. A short break. Some time out. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of anyone else. Take time away from blogging, stay in during the week and just decompress. Hope you feel better soon.

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